I am a Sloth

a sloth
Image by rus33333 from Pixabay
I am a sloth! Typing it out might make me feel as though I am writing lines for some demented pedagogue, but sadly this week the cap very much fits. 

Perhaps I'm just having one of those intermittent down periods that retirement frequently brings; a week where you need to recharge your batteries and re-evaluate plans before setting off again with breakneck speed into the distant yonder. Alternatively it could be that I am the product of months of restrictions, collapsing into a lethargic heap with the weight of them.

I haven't done a YouTube exercise class for a week now and my efforts in the garden have been pretty much limited to watering the pots and hanging baskets.

I have declined to the point of doing one thing a day, ignoring my To Do List and at a total loss to understand where the rest of the time has gone. So on Tuesday I hosted the good ladies from Reading Group in the garden; on Wednesday Mister E and I ate out to celebrate his birthday; yesterday I visited my mother. The rest of the time? Nothing, absolutely nothing!

I feel the inactivity has already led to a creeping waistline, adding to the lockdown  inches. So last night, I determined that today would be different, I would awake energised and ready to take on: the world, the ever growing list of overdue chores and my exercise mat. 

Hahaha! This morning the gods said "no" and just to make sure that I'm not even going to try doing anything, have cursed me with a frozen left shoulder. Into the afternoon and I still can't raise the arm as high as my middle! I've been downing the anti-inflammatories, trying some gentle exercises but the excruciating pain and stiffness continues.

There I was, wondering about the possibility of returning to the gym next month after opting for my membership to be placed in suspension to date. Now, however, the laziest act of all (sleeping) has rendered me incapable of swinging my arms on a treadmill let alone lift weights. Like a sloth I am moving very slowly, conscious that the torment might even complete the transition by making me nocturnal, unable to sleep once more for the burning agony within.

Apparently sloths spend most of their lives in trees, hanging upside down. Feel for me, I never did have any ambition to be a trapeze artist in retirement or otherwise.


Treaders said…
We all get those days/weeks and this bloody virus can't be helping. I'm sure it'll pass (and good luck with the shoulder). I love sloths though - that was my primary reason for going to Cost Rica!
Caree Risover said…
Don’t let MrE know, he might start charging the locals to come and watch one in its natural habitat; the full rain forest experience on a day trip!

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