A Future Strategy

-

I have just returned from another enjoyable but exhausting trip to London to see our granddaughters. On this occasion, rather than driving, Mister E and I took the train and the journey proved to be the only part of our four nights away when I got the opportunity to sit down with a book.

I had deliberately chosen something light and recommended to me on the basis that it was funny and astute, a little in the style of Jane Austen's humour but set in the late 1960's. I'm not at all sure that it completely lived up to that description but it had a certain wit and whimsicality that captivated me regardless.

The book was 'Mrs Palfrey at the Claremont' by Elizabeth Taylor and it depicts the interaction between various long stay, elderly guests at a hotel on Cromwell Road in London. I was intrigued to turn the pages in circumstances where friends have often suggested that in our dotage it would be preferable to check into a good hotel rather than a care home.

Mrs Palfrey was of similar mind and had anticipated that basing herself in the country's capital city there would be plenty to entertain her and to participate in. I'm not sure that she had imagined evenings spent knitting in the lounge with fellow guests from differing backgrounds each with their own habits and eccentricities. They share loneliness, boredom and vulnerability in common. Visitors are sparse however much they might wish otherwise and they spar with each other as frustrations and petty feelings spill over.

The novel does nothing to promote any solid benefits of old age and nor does it provide answers to the challenges faced. Frailties and anxieties are depicted perceptively against a background of other age groups living busy lives to the full, ignoring and neglecting their elderly relatives at The Claremont and whom the staff view as a burden too. The guests themselves seek acknowledgement, connection and fun; it is not their intention to give up on life even as their world closes in and becomes smaller.

The story is sad, maybe disquieting. It provokes an emotional response, a craving even for the well-being of the hotel residents, for they are what the reader could become.

It has left me thinking profoundly about planning for those later years but as yet with no sensible strategy.


Comments

Post a Comment

Most Popular Posts of All Time

The 3 x 60 Challenge

-
Image
So much is written about the post-work bucket list that as you approach retirement, you inevitably feel that you should have one. A tick list of 100 things to see and do before you die. You don't even have to think up your own any more, the Internet is full of them. Glance through them if you will and you quickly get the impression that retirement must be full of adrenalin rushed grandparents throwing themselves out of aeroplanes or climbing Kilimanjaro. Indeed the eldest recently sent a book to Mister E and me entitled "101 Coolest Things to Do in Great Britain." Now it is a good read and has some, shall we say, "interesting ideas" but for those that hold the most appeal I can honestly say that I've already been there, done them, got the photographs. There are others that wild horses wouldn't drag me to. It may be cool, but somehow Mister E and I attending Bestival is beyond even the most vivid of imaginations. The problem with trying to...
Read more

All Aboard for Pampering

-
Image
Mister E and I may be retired but we still enjoy being pampered now and again; who says you have to be working hard to deserve a treat? Yesterday offered one of those occasions when we were spoiled with a train trip on board the Northern Belle, previously operated and restored by the Venice Simplon Orient Express. It was a day for lounging back in a plush seat, eating and drinking everything put in front of us (and there was quite a quantity) whilst watching the scenery glide serenely past. The luxury of our surroundings and the attentive service from uniformed staff all added to the sense of occasion and enjoyment. We were entertained by wandering musicians and a magician on our figure of eight route around County Durham and North Yorkshire, ending up eventually back where we started at Darlington Station. Just like my retirement so far really; there is no obvious destination but the journey getting there is immensely pleasurable.
Read more

A Full Service

-
Image
  It's not just the Spring Cleaning that I embrace in February and March because, much as I dislike routine, the end of winter and beginning of spring have become a time to put other aspects of our house in order. So, it's a period for sorting ourselves administratively with meetings with our financial adviser and personal banker; reviewing and renewing insurance policies, changing insurer as necessary; checking tariffs and switching energy suppliers. In fact this year we have surpassed ourselves by finally updating our wills too!  Energised by the thought of springtime and rebirth, it's also become a time for medical checks, new spectacles, and a dental check-up. When making my appointment with the optician, I was given the option of a hearing test; I declined but no doubt, in years to come, that too will find its way into my retirement body scan. It's not simply a phase for a human body overhaul either, as we've subjected our cars to annual serv...
Read more

Late, Even in Retirement

-
Image
  (Image by Merry Christmas  from Pixabay) Whilst retirement continues to throw up its new experiences, I'm conscious that some of them only arise because I'm a little late for the party. We have the misfortune to suffer from the problems that rural connectivity throws up. In particular, we  frequently struggle with mobile reception at one side of the house, whilst at the other it has proved impossible to obtain a wifi signal meaning that the benefits of a smart televison are non-existent.  However, during last year's initial lockdown, for the first time I appreciated the potential of casting especially from the iPad to the living room. It's been an indispensable way to participate in online exercise classes.  On Sunday, I was idly exploring other options to cast when I discovered that every series of Downton Abbey is available on Amazon Prime. I'm one of those few people who until now has never watched a single episode. I was, of course, working when it aired ...
Read more

The Danger Zone

-
Image
I have generally considered myself  to be healthy and my retirement lifestyle equally so. I exercise daily; eat a good diet; don't add salt to my food; don't drink much; have never smoked; have no obvious stress triggers; have even lost half a stone in weight since finishing work although, like many people, several more pounds won't be missed. Grief, I sound so boring! Anyway, I was a little concerned by my hospital visit at the end of July when the nurse checked my blood pressure. I could see the reading on the screen and, as it seemed high to me, I did ask her if it was okay.  "Absolutely fine," she said but that didn't exactly allay my fears. After all I had been sitting in a waiting room that could easily have passed for Obesity International and what if mine had simply been the lowest she had seen all morning? The result has been nagging on my mind, so on Monday I called into our surgery and had the Practice Nurse take another readin...
Read more

Seven Years and Itching

-
Image
  It is seven years today since I closed the door on my legal career and I still have no itch or desire to return to the world of court rooms and orders. If I have a yearning at all, it is for a resurrection of the retirement life I had become accustomed to before this darned pandemic descended upon us. It is a craving that is now, however, tempered by the sense that the simple life I have long hankered for is within my fingers' grasp, if only... I noticed a meme the other day that just about summed up my situation. In essence it was indicating that lockdown has demonstrated that we need more than time trapped at home to organise and sort; the problem was never a lack of hours to devote to the task as we had always assumed, but rather something within that needs to be tamed and brought to heel.  Who would have imagined that seven years down the track with supposedly oodles of time, I'd still be contemplating how to declutter myself of  physical stuff?  Strangely the ...
Read more

Exhaustion

-
Image
  Who would have thought it?  Yesterday, according to my Fitbit app, I walked more than 5 miles without leaving the house; most of it was between wardrobes and the bed where robe contents were displaced and sorted. Now in the course of  the motivational training sessions, I was warned that one wardrobe and a time limit of 4 hours were desirable. However, when Mister E expressed interest in getting his hanging rails decluttered too, it seemed opportune to keep going. After all when the man who cannot even bear to throw away a cardboard box, admits his closets need a good tidy up and needs help to do this, who could possibly refuse? To be fair, he took to the process with a great deal more realism and less sentimentality than I did. In the end the hangers on his rails move freely whereas mine are still a trifle squeezed. Looking at the number of empty coat hangers we produced, I'm ashamed to say we must have jettisoned at least a hundred items between us, most of which wer...
Read more

A Reprieve

-
Image
  Tonight I am writing this post rather than continuing my game of catch up with Downton Abbey. After a week of  constant viewing, I am even beginning to sound like Lady Mary; should I deign to clamber on top of a horse and ride it side-saddle, you will know that my conversion is complete. Yesterday, I remained on target to reach the finale today when I noticed that the warning to the effect that all episodes would be removed on 31st January appeared to have disappeared. I wondered if an extension had been granted or if instead I was already viewing on borrowed time. I checked again this morning, and, can you believe it, after all those mammoth sessions in front of the television there is indeed now a new expiry date in two weeks' time! I am unable to explain my relief.  Retirement and deadlines simply don't go together. After a career of working to time limits,  I honestly have no idea why I succumbed to the challenge. All I can think is that, still slightly intoxi...
Read more

Happy New Me

-
Image
  There's something very special about New Year. There I am at 11.59 pm on 31st December waiting for the clock to strike; I whisper a few resolutions; the New Year rushes in and I am a transformed being. Except it doesn't work like that. Least of all last night, when I couldn't keep my eyes open late enough to witness the ushering in of 2022. It continues to be a hard life in retirement (she says smiling).  I was up this morning, however, with a good thirty minutes to spare before welcoming the first dawn of the new me, assuming of course that I had remembered to make some resolutions.  I hadn't.  It wasn't so much that I'd forgotten to make any as, to be honest, I genuinely couldn't think of any. Of course, nobody's perfect but in retirement where everyone strives to live in the present, resolving to socialise frequently, regularly ring Great Aunt Betsy (another figment of my imagination), shed pounds or come up with anything to alter your life for the ...
Read more

Living the Dream

-
Image
  It is 8 years ago today that I left my office desk and took my first steps into retirement.  Fittingly, this afternoon I was reminded of some of the associated emotions whilst chatting to our next door neighbour who retired too a few weeks ago. Whilst he's clearly throwing himself into all those tasks that you let slip whilst you are busy working down to your final day, he also divulged that he is experiencing those horrendous nightmares where you wake up, palms sweating, realising that you were imagining yourself back in the workplace. At least I was able to reassure him that, 8 years on, not only would I be incapable of doing the job that kept me occupied and fulfilled for so long, but also I honestly would be unable to recall what used to be required of me, at least not sufficient to dream about it. Who would have thought it would be possible to get to that stage, but when life is filled in other ways, memories of the task of earning a living by pursuing a career do actu...
Read more

Popular Posts in last 30 days

Changing Colours

-
Image
  When I wrote about our trip to Portugal , I did say we were searching for inspiration for a recovery trip. On a whim and with a definite need to experience a little more European sunshine before winter sets in, Mister E and I headed off to Crete. Age must definitely be playing its part because this was not our usual must-explore-from-dawn-to-dusk travel adventure. We have seen the archaeological highlights of Crete previously, so we embarked on this vacation with the sole aim of resting, reading and relaxing.  The weather smiled kindly on us and with blue sky, sea and even a matching swim towel, life was almost complete. With the addition of some coastal rambles, authentic tavernas, our own plunge pool and temperatures in the mid-twenties this was a trip that ticked the boxes set for it. Sometimes retirement life is so busy that I forget about the need to simply stop and breathe. Part of me believes that with the absence of  the daily pressures of a working life, I...
Read more

Make Believe

-
Image
  The highlight of my social calendar in the last few days was an Alpine Evening organised outside the gym where four large tepees were installed on the lawn, complete with a gondola carriage for photographs. Mulled wine was available on tap, whilst raclette and bratwurst were served to eat. By chance, the temperature had plummeted to below freezing and we were even treated to a flurry of snow from the sky above.  Like most events, it was of course the company of others present who really made it a success, although recognising some people in their winter coats and hats rather than lycra was a challenge in itself! Many of us suffered a healthy dose of nostalgia reminiscing about skiing trips past but not present. Concerned about weak knee and hip joints or maybe brittle bones, it really was the closest most are ever going to get to après ski going forward in retirement. Of course, I realised as long ago as 2013 that skiing wouldn't dominate our retirement planning and althoug...
Read more

Rocking and Rolling

-
Image
During our recent visit to Crete , Mister E and I stayed in a small boutique hotel renowned for its gastronomic offering. Still on UK time, we reserved a table in the restaurant on our first night for somewhat late in the evening. So much so that as we entered the other diners were already in the process of leaving.  It was a relatively small room, perhaps a dozen tables, certainly no more.  Shortly after we sat down and the other guests departed, an obvious security guard entered and began to rearrange tables. He came and went, communicating by walkie talkie and indicating to the waiting staff that: "They say they won't be long." Obviously our interest was drawn and when suddenly we spotted three people running up the staircase, our eyes turned to the entrance. Shouldered on either side by two apparent minders was someone whom I can only describe as the most enlivened ball of nervous energy I have ever encountered.  "That's X," said Mister E. "No, it...
Read more

A New Chapter

-
Image
Back in the early days of retirement I acquired a new car . I freely admitted on this blog that, of habit, I gave all my cars names and on that occasion, over 10 years ago now, the vehicle was named Miss Scarlet. Until the last 12 months we have had a happy relationship and I confess that I had never before hung onto a car so long. On reflection, however, my very first motor car (Sunshine Brum Brum - it was a rather bright and distinctive yellow) was elderly when I acquired it and probably outdid Miss Scarlet in vehicular years when, for reasons of reliability, we were obliged to part company. I have discovered in retirement that dependability is not quite as important as it was when the daily commute to work was a necessity. Cancelling or postponing leisure plans is no big deal and where I feel that I am obligated to commit, then cadging a lift from Mister E  has worked well too. Unfortunately there comes a time when, after a couple of big repairs, the fear of continuously haemorr...
Read more

Range Anxiety

-
Image
  Acquiring an electric vehicle has introduced me to various new concepts when it comes to driving.  'Range anxiety,' for instance, seems to be a phrase that crops up regularly. Progressing so suddenly from a hot, dry spring and summer into current conditions has fostered an epidemic of the condition and I've even heard tell of one poor lady who couldn't bear the stress and ended up part-exchanging her electric car after only a few months to return to a conventional petrol engine. Unfortunately, deploying heating, lighting and windscreen wipers throughout every journey has an inevitable impact on battery power and the decrease in miles per kwh as a consequence can be worrying. Somebody even described to me how they are donning extra layers and driving without heating in an effort to tweak as many miles as possible out of their charge. I'm lucky in that most of my driving is local and to be honest I'm not sure that I would have swapped to an electric car if it wa...
Read more

Full Circle

-
Image
  Back in 2009 (a year when retirement wasn't even on the horizon) I visited the first ever Durham Lumiere Festival. It left quite an impression, not least of the Son et Lumiere depicting the history of Christianity in the North East. Indeed, I don't think I shall ever forget the images of the Lindisfarne Gospels projected onto the facade of the Cathedral against a haunting musical score.  The Festival grew into a biennial success and I always intended to visit again. With its rise in popularity, however, it became a ticketed event and although tickets were free, there was inevitably a degree of organisation in obtaining them. Other things got in the way and suddenly 16 years had passed. I realised that if I was ever going to experience the event again, I really had to get online, click a couple of buttons and secure entry passes. I did so a couple of months ago ensuring I could breathe a sigh of relief when a few weeks later it was announced that, because of local authority f...
Read more

Nature and Art

-
Image
Ever since new research at Kings College , London suggested that visiting art galleries is good for our health, I seem to keep stumbling across commentary on the findings from that study. It concluded that viewing original art could lower markers within the body for a wide range of inflammatory conditions including heart disease, diabetes, stress and depression.  As somebody who is predisposed to a number of inflammatory conditions, my interest was piqued. Already aware of the benefits of  immersing oneself in nature and of exercise, how wonderful if visiting exhibitions can be added to the list of preventative healthcare measures for adoption in retirement. Some of my best days out in the last decade have certainly involved admiring the creativity of others which I always find generates an inner emotional response. Potentially it now seems feasible that instead of planning a visit to a gallery as a cultural indulgence, we should look upon it as a prescription for the wel...
Read more

Lessons in Life from Alfred Wainwright

-
Image
It is hard to visit the Lake District and not be reminded of Alfred Wainwright , the celebrated fellwalker and author whose Pictorial Guide to the Lakeland Fells in seven volumes remains the leading authority on hill walking in the area. Whilst out in the open air last week many of his written thoughts also came to mind. The joy of shared experience and of the human sub-conscious perhaps, or an attempt to answer the most profound of questions that haunt our every moment. Wainwright's answer however, whilst illuminating, fell short of providing a definitive answer to that one word question, "Why?": "...more and more people are turning to the hills; they find something in these wild places that can be found nowhere else. It may be solace for some, satisfaction for others: the joy of exercising muscles that modern ways of living have cramped, perhaps; or a balm for jangled nerves in the solitude and silence of the peaks; or escape from the clamour a...
Read more

The Dreaded To Do List

-
Image
My To Do List habit is something that I have carried over from diligence in the workplace. I'd like to be able to describe it as a thing of beauty but in reality it is on the one hand the bane of my life, on the other potentially the only item on which I can rely to maintain order. I keep it in a specifically designed app that is available on all my devices as both a standalone schedule and also a daily precursor to calendar entries. Essentially there is no hiding from it. Some days it is a monster with a controlling claw, on others a tawdry specimen that can easily be ignored. There are chores that repeat, reminders for bill payments and other deadlines, nudges for seasonal tasks in the garden and so the list goes on. There are some days when I wonder  if the time I expend reallocating dates for jobs on the list could perhaps have been more usefully  deployed tackling those items. On other occasions, I sail through the list, ticking off every item for the day and reaching the...
Read more

Simplification

-
Image
  One of my pleasures in retirement has been my garden, particularly the  greenhouse and vegetable patch. Sadly, because of the excavation work that took place starting in the autumn of 2023 and followed in 2024 by our vacating the house, the whole garden has been very much neglected. I had to abandon any thought of planting this year when there were so many other chores to contend with inside the house, after we returned at the end of March.  In light of the persistent dry conditions and high temperatures, a fallow plot may well have been fortuitous and, with the hosepipe ban, has certainly saved me hours of carrying watering cans.  Nevertheless, a reduction in the temperature, cloud cover and some free afternoons over the past week have finally encouraged me to try to regain a semblance of order outside and, ever the organiser, to consider  a game plan for next year. That's not easy when in recent years we have never known whether the earth is going to drown o...
Read more