A Retirement Blog by Caree Risover

  Oh my goodness. I'd never considered retirement could be pressurising until recently when , just like those jolly times in a working life, I've found myself juggling.  There's still no working boiler at home but our return date remains fixed and is ever more imminent. Consequently anxiety levels are rising and there's now decluttering at both ends of our personal property chain too. I'd like to think that letting go after you've gone without for almost 12 months would be easy, but sadly I'm still finding it challenging! Then there's decorating to finish, whilst dodging workmen and dust to complete it. Not much multi-tasking there you might think, however I failed to factor in my mother undergoing her own little crisis and the time it takes to provide support and solutions. Regrettably, her end of the retirement spectrum is less alluring than mine, although no doubt I'll find plenty of material to blog about if I ever reach my nineties. What I think...

Events of the past 20 months chez nous are rapidly drawing to a close albeit at an increasing pace. It reached a point in mid-January where we just couldn't take any more, so we uprooted to the Lake District along with all the family.  The day before we left, however, holiday vibes were destroyed by an email indicating that notice to terminate the rental of our temporary accommodation on 25th March was being served and that if we believed our own home was not yet ready for occupation we should contact the loss adjuster, who presumably had authorised the service of the notice in the first place. It was perhaps unfortunate that I only got round to checking my emails in the evening because the chances of rousing the loss adjuster on a Friday night were non-existent.  So off we toddled across the Pennines,  panicking in the knowledge that our home still had cut pipes all over the place, no floor, no heating source etc.. Then malaise set in: the weather was awful; cold, damp a...

  You will recall that back in November I was moaning as to our lack of confidence in the contractors appointed by the insurance company to remediate our home. A meeting took place and their strategy for reinstatement was amended to our satisfaction although we have been well aware of the need to monitor carefully. Thank goodness we have been on the ball. Concrete slab stage was reached shortly before Christmas and last week a team was deployed to construct the underfloor trunking for the water pipes. Although our ability to inspect the latest work was delayed because of the weather, Mister E and I called in to check yesterday.  Honestly, you would struggle to make this stuff up, but somewhere along the way they had decided to insert vast amounts of unnnecessary trunking where no water pipes are to be nor indeed have ever been. Then, they had totally overlooked the need to install pipes to connect to one of the radiators. I gladly left Mister E to deal with the Project Manage...

   My primeval nesting urge invariably sets in as the days grow noticeably longer and Spring is in the air. Unusually, and just as the shortest day of the year approaches, I've been hit by a compulsion to declutter. So, totally out of kilter with my normal instinctive behaviour,  I have been dropping goods off at the Charity Shop at the end of the year rather than the beginning. I've also found an outlet that buys old digital cameras (the Charity Shop having refused to accept them in case I might inadvertently have failed to wipe the memory and their contents presumably be distasteful!) I've disposed too of a significant percentage of my paperback book collection; the part with yellowing loose pages and tiny print in an obscure font with no double line spacing. Horror of horrors, in an epoch where Charity Shops want nearly new goods and these were fit for nothing other than recycling assuming that the paper could be separated from the glue which appeared to be rapidly det...

  We can all go through life attacking imaginary enemies if we so choose. Don Quixote tilted at windmills, but I dare say today he'd have equally mistaken a row of pylons for evil giants.  In retirement my choice has been to avoid conflict, as I try to negotiate my way to a place of calm and stress-free Karma. Unfortunately in recent weeks, it has not been so easy.  There is one chance for the floors  of our home to be reinstated properly. We have no confidence that the insurance company's contractors can deliver. Would you employ a crew used to digging holes and trenches to put everything back together again with the finesse of a master housebuilder? We are understandably running scared. Work has ground to a halt and having sought expert advice have been left even more concerned. It's just like being back at work, waking in the middle of the night to confront the worries of the next day. Even then, I doubt I ever dreamt about filling in floors nor planned conversati...

   It sounded a little too good to be true when we received an email at the beginning of the week from the remediation company contracted by the insurers, suggesting that we could feasibly be back in our home by Christmas. The day dreaming began and the pace of work in the rooms upstairs that we are decorating quickened. Little by little, however, we realised the serious pitfalls of such a situation, not least because notice to terminate the lease on our temporary accommodation would need to be given this month with no certainty that we would actually be able to return as indicated. Corners would need to be cut and/or we would be returning to somewhere only half finished with no prospect of entertaining family over the Christmas holidays.  Then nightmare of nightmares, because the tenancy end date would actually be 25th December, I had visions of cleaning and clearing two houses at the point when most people might be sitting back, slippers on, waiting for Santa Claus to p...

  Disoriented and confused; is that how travelling is meant to make us feel? It's not jetlag, when Portugal is in the same time zone as the UK and the Azores are only an hour behind. Rather, after extending both our trips with sojourns with the family to maximise time with Grandotty, I reckon that we probably only spent 5 nights at home (correction: in the rented premises) in the course of a month. Coming back now to a house where I thought we had everything sorted and at hand, I've realised that the period of time away was sufficient to totally flummox me when it comes to identifying where anything might be. Is it here and, if so where? If it is being stored, just where exactly?  Goodness, I couldn't even remember the postcode  for the property and had to look it up. Today Mister E was certain that he'd brought head torches to have to hand at the rental; think boy scout mode for power cuts. Ultimately we established that they hadn't made the journey with us, but at...

 I have been working my way through children's games that I removed from one particular cupboard at our recently vacated home. This is an area that I've attacked a couple of times already in retirement, donating unused toys and other paraphernalia to charity shops. There remained, however, a mixture of well used board games, some stemming from my own childhood but also enjoyed by the Eldest and Youngest, as well too as their collection of game-consoles and the games that they loved to play on them. There will no longer be a place for most of them in our home when we return. Was it even rational to feel attachment to these games, no matter how long we've had them as a family? Those made in the 1960's were hardly vintage boxed originals from the 1930's, but could I let them go after so long? Pragmatism crept in when I lifted the Monopoly box and it almost disintegrated in my hands. The contents looked sad and crumbling. In Cluedo the Detectives' Notes had been fil...

  Yes, I had heard tell that moving home can be up there with all of life's other big stressors but never did I imagine how difficult it can be. Given a deadline of just under 5 weeks to find a rental property and vacate our own home, it was never going to be easy, but a paucity of suitable lettings meant I didn't for a moment appreciate just how tough the challenge we faced would turn out. In the end the loss adjuster appointed a relocation agent to assist and although we had to identify and view potential properties, they at least did the negotiating for us. Finding a house to take all of our possessions as well as ourselves in the  area where we live was always going to be tricky and ultimately a compromise had to be made. We've moved 10 miles to the east, to the edge of suburbia into a modern estate home, some 1,000 square feet smaller then we've been accustomed to. Reducing our entourage of belongings was a battlefield in itself. I'm still sorting through piles...

Last month we received written confirmation that the statutory notice relating to our water pipe has been lifted and that the Water Authority once again judges the supply to be safe to drink. One oil leak fixed (digging out yet to complete) but that's still progress. However, these things do have a tendency to multiply otherwise known as hitting you in triplicate. So it was when we discovered a leaking shower waste pipe on the outside wall of the bathroom. Fortunately Mister E was able to gather some hardware supplies, his tool box and a ladder to make a good repair. It felt as though he had only just done so, when a damp patch appeared in the ceiling above my computer and we heard the sound of water dripping. A connection on a cold water pipe in the void beneath the bathroom had decided to take that moment to fail. A bucket, plumber and a hole in the ceiling later, all was resolved although a plasterer is still needed; somehow a tub of polyfilla won't quite work to fill the 2...

  Like every new year, January started off with so much promise. After it did its best to impede my ability to breathe let alone exercise by knocking me down with a never-ending head cold and then spent most days tossing rainwater from the sky, I can't say I'm sorry to see its departure. Of course there were the good bits, like my nephew's wedding and our week away in the Lake District, but generally speaking  I confess I'm just glad it's gone. Restored and revitalised, I want to get out and attack life again. However, I've read so much of late written by people decrying the month of January that I can't help wondering if I'm simply living in an echo chamber. After all its hardly fair to blame a period of 31 days banded together under no more than the name of a month for either my woes or the weather. I may have felt that my role as an explorer of retirement was temporarily suspended but I still made headway with some serious decluttering, totally emptyi...

  I know that across the world there are so many communities that through war, natural disasters or lack of funding for infrastructure are going without what we in the West regard as basic necessities. Contaminated water alone brings so much illness and disease. The statistics are appalling. According to Water Aid’s website,  almost 1 in 10 people globally do not have access locally to clean water. Back at Chez Nous, retired life has had some luxury restored to it with a temporary connection from the new water pipe to the house. After laboratory testing early in January, we are confident that the Do Not Drink Notice will be revoked. The best Christmas present ever! It would be wonderful if we could share it with those who will continue without but, in the absence of some truly miraculous Christmas magic, I guess a charity donation must suffice. In the meantime my best wishes too for your very own Happy Christmas.

  The Eldest and Dilly completed the purchase of their first home in August but have continued to live elsewhere whilst they restore and decorate to their satisfaction. Yesterday I visited a niece who has only just moved back into her house after a period of 6 months, again to allow refurbishment to take place. It all makes Mister E's and my desire to remain in our home whilst the floors are drilled out, despite knowing that the facilities we have access to will be reduced, appear a little bizarre.  Are we stalwarts from another age? Has retirement rendered us incapable of coping with change? Are we simply showing early signs of cognitive decline? Have we entered an era of indolence? I guess it's hard to explain our thought processes, especially to those younger family members who have willingly left their homes vacant and sought to avoid disturbance and potential misery by basing themselves elsewhere. To be honest, I'm not sure I can even explain our reasoning to myself. W...

  This morning I awoke in the Loch Lomond and Trossachs National Park, at Crianlarich which is often described as the Gateway to the Highlands.  I had not been kidnapped, so rising there was no surprise as Mister E and I had travelled up as part of a pre-winter visit to the Retirement Project.   I always love waking in the Scottish countryside. It doesn't matter where, as inevitably you are surrounded by the vastness of  landscape. The photographs hardly do the location justice, snatched as they were quickly on my mobile phone at first light and before Mister E scraped the ice from the windscreen and we headed westwards to the coast and marina. Whenever I stay away from home, I never cease imagining what it would be like to live in that place permanently. Retirement is obviously the perfect opportunity to relocate to the perfect fantasy destination. Accepting that downsizing may be necessary at some point, where, with an almost infinite choice, would we downsize to? ...

  The rain seems to have been non-stop for days now, sometimes heavy, sometimes less so but incessant regardless. Then just when I thought we had seen the last of big holes on the drive, our illusions were shattered. A truck arrived to collect the skip that contained the contaminated hardcore dug out mainly from behind the house a couple of months ago. Despite the weather, the driver was well-dressed for the conditions and appeared to have everything under control until the moment, skip loaded, he moved to drive back onto the road. As his front wheel trundled over the reinstated driveway above the trench that had been filled, didn't it just go and collapse! Of course, this being a project controlled by loss adjusters, we have no say in the way the work is conducted, but honestly you couldn't make it up. If we'd been employing them directly we'd be beginning to suspect we'd hired cowboys. As it is, I've been checking so far as I can to ensure all jobs comply wit...

This past week, there has been progress. A small mechanical digger, a wheelbarrow and shovels plus 2 men to operate them have wreaked havoc on our drive. They dug a trench from water meter to house wall and then into the garage, laying the new waterpipe complete with aluminium barrier.  With piles of earth everywhere, along with that trench, it was hard not to recall the throw away comment of the Project Manager months ago when he indicated that once they started to dig, the garden would resemble the Somme. He wasn't far off. Fortunately they've done a good job of putting everything back the way it should be. Now it's simply a question of waiting for the plumber to connect the house fittings to the pipe, followed swiftly by the joining of the new pipe to the water meter and at that point our supply of safe drinking water from the tap should resume. Talk about excitement; it won't be a moment too early when it happens. I think the fervour hit the Project Manager too as h...

  On Friday we went to a House Building and Renovation Show. After building our current home (well we didn't actually lay the bricks ourselves, but you get my gist) 24 years ago, we do not have any intention of repeating the experience in retirement. We love the finished product but the memory of the stress and hassle of getting there, militates against doing it all again. A sport for younger people you might say. We've always been happy with our home, so much so that, and despite the decluttering, we still haven't seriously contemplated down-sizing which I'm advised is a must at some point in the future. As for remodelling, well that's always sounded like even more hassle than building afresh.  We were potentially the show's most lukewarm visitors, surrounded as we were by a throng of amateur but enthusiastic would-be developers. Our presence was, of course, encouraged by the thought that ripping our house apart to deal with the contamination under it could be ...

    Life has a habit of throwing misfortune our way. Retirement is no exception to that rule and indeed as we age we are more likely to encounter and face the demise of loved ones, health issues and increasing frailty of body and even mind. There are also those day to day issues that we might find harder to deal with, not to mention the unexpected shocks and surprises ready to leap out when we least expect them. The main advantage we have in retirement is a lifetime of experience in dealing with adverse circumstances. We are now in the advantageous position of building on that experience and developing still further our resilience.  Action for Happiness identifies resilience as one of the 10 keys to a happy life. Resilience doesn't mean that we are no longer impacted by awful situations but instead that we can overcome both the crisis and the stress and anxiety it brings to us, enabling us to move on positively, build on our fortitude and learn from the or...

 I don't know how anybody else copes with domestic chores but I find them a real grind . When I was working I generally paid somebody to assist with the cleaning and ironing but even then tidying up in readiness for their visit was a burden in itself. In retirement I chose to relieve myself of that load by endeavouring to keep on top of the inevitable crumbs, dust and muck personally. I can't say I'm successful in doing so. Although after 9 years of retirement I am at least more accomplished in that sphere than when I set out. Adapting from a career that called out for an element of perfectionism to a dust and do mentality has not been easy. If anything is going to force us to downsize it will inevitably be the hours of my time spent on mundane household tasks, only to have to repeat them again a week or two later. What is it about dirt that it reappears as soon as you turn your head? Last week, however, I decided to try a new technique and downloaded a couple of cleaning a...

 At Action for Happiness one of the 10 keys for happier living is described as resilience or the ability to cope constructively when circumstances conspire against us. Needless to say Mister E and I have been practising our resilience skills in droves this month. The initial trial of our skill-set began as cool weather dominated towards the beginning of the month whereupon the boiler decided it was an opportune time to fail. At least retirement gives you all the time you need to contact the man who services it and to liaise as to an early date for repair. After staying away from local hospitals since December , I was convinced we had finally broken the 2022 jinx. However, it turned out that the boiler wasn't the only thing in need of  urgent attention when my G.P. referred me to the emergency eye clinic with a suspected retinal tear and of course the timing clashed with that boiler repair, leaving Mister E shuttling between hospital and home.  Of course, sometimes I can n...