Another Year Older
I have just celebrated another birthday.
On further consideration, perhaps I should reconsider that opening remark. In retirement do we actually celebrate all birthdays or as the numbers spiral upwards are the festivities curtailed?
Unlike 2018, this year's observance was, by choice, a rather subdued affair. Mister E treated me to afternoon tea but, ever the pragmatists, we tied it in with a stop at a flooring showroom to eye up a new surface for installation as part of the bathroom project.
With the eldest in New Zealand and the youngest in Berlin, even close family connections were limited to a video call. Mind the tea was delicious although sandwiches and cakes were something of a nostalgia trip back to the days of childhood parties, especially the sugar rush followed by an overfull and even slightly nauseous sensation.
The one thing birthdays do now of course, is concentrate the mind on the ageing process. I may not feel any different physically to the day before but there is nevertheless a notion of rushing headlong towards the end, knowing that I have so much I want to do in the interim. Panic: what if I can't fit it all in? Do I need to prioritise and structure my life accordingly?
Does everyone of a certain age start to feel like this or have I been waylaid by a gift from the youngest: "The Uninhabitable Earth," a book by David Wallace-Walls that I finished very quickly? If the world is going to end in an almighty climate-change induced apocalypse, is it right and proper to be concerned about my own diminishing lifespan as opposed to that of humankind? Conversely should I be heaving a sigh of relief that my end date will, on current scientific projections, materialise before the planet is completely burnt to a cinder, submerged in water or suffocated by noxious greenhouse gases?
Why does retirement present so many moral dilemmas? Life was much simpler when there was never the time to overthink.
Comments
My philosophy is to get around to as much of what I want to do, see or experience (and to read a good novel about the bits I'll probably never get to) but not to knock myself out in the process. And I'm changing the things I can to help the planet (coconut dish scrubbers anyone?)