Knowing When It's Time to Hang up your Keys

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I had intended to settle down and write a blog post about our short trip to Madrid. Instead events have intervened and I fear it's time for another rant. So this post is a way of ousting the irritation for me, although you are welcome to read it.

This afternoon I was driving home after a lovely lunch with my "muscle mates" (slight exaggeration but I think they are due a promotion from "gym bunnies"). Unfortunately I entered our village just as the children were finishing the day at the local primary school. To reach home I have to pass the inevitable 4x4's and little hatchbacks vying for parking spaces as Mums wait for their offspring to exit the gates. The situation is made worse by a bend in the road and cars parking and manoeuvring regardless. 

However I proceeded carefully through the melee and around the bend where on my side of the road the lay-by provided for parking for the school was fully occupied but the highway itself was free of obstruction, save for a large vehicle looking to park on the opposite side of the road in front of another car. I slowed down to give it time to inch in and leave my side of the road clear to allow me to proceed. However, a large silver Mercedes saloon car pulled up behind it and as the parking car drew to a halt the Mercedes remained stationary on my side of the road. I anticipated that the driver would realise her error and I made to move forward thinking that it would begin to reverse (after all one of us had to, and I had priority).

Of course, I was wrong. A very elderly lady whose problems may have stemmed from the fact that she didn't seem tall enough to see over the top of her steering wheel kept coming towards me, all the time motioning with her hand for me to go back. Patiently I reversed to a point where, in light of a driveway on her side of the road and ample space at the kerb on either side of it, she could easily pull back onto her side and we could pass. 

No, this was not enough. Despite the mayhem of school traffic behind me with doors opening and closing, she seemed to want me to continue to reverse back around the bend and presumably out onto the main road, a distance of perhaps 30 metres with cars parked on both sides. I got out of my car to speak to her, explaining most politely that she should pull round me by proceeding onto her side of the road. She refused and when I explained that my car had right of way but I had reversed to make room to allow her to manouvre, she told me she wasn't doing that because she was disabled!

I really wanted to give her a ticking off and tell her that if she was so disabled that she was unable to drive her car into a space large enough for a tractor and trailer, she really shouldn't be driving. However, I bit my tongue and pulled across the road into the driveway myself.

Owning a car gives us freedom and independence. In rural Britain where buses are few and far between, I would go so far as to say that they are almost an essential. The trouble is that when you live in a village serviced by narrow lanes, the prospect of meeting a driver who is spatially unaware increases in line with the ageing demographic. It's a dangerous phenomenon that is growing as more and more people continue to drive, despite diminishing faculties. It's not a phase of retirement I'm looking forward to but I hope that, unlike the Mercedes driver, I have the good sense to recognise that when I am no longer capable of pulling over, it's time to hang up my keys.



Comments

Royce Shook said…
I give seminars to seniors on two issues you discussed, the first is knowing when to give up your car, and the second is living without driving. At almost every workshop I get stories about drivers who are the same or worse than the lady you describe.

In BC once a person hits 80 they have to have a cognitive test by their doctor to determine if they should be allowed to drive. Driving is not a right, and many drivers should be off the road. thanks for your rant. I may use your story i(without names) n my next workshop, if that is OK with you.
1 December 2018 at 00:35
Caree Risover said…
What perfect topics for seminars. (I may need them myself in a decade or two). You are most welcome to use my example; proud to change my indignation into a positive outcome.
1 December 2018 at 07:57
Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com said…
Hi Caree! I live in a retirement area and some of the snowbirds who show up here in the winter or definitely driving challenged. I do try to remember my mother who with a touch of dementia was still driving (and she was never that great to begin with) and yet she managed fairly well without killing herself or anyone else until it was unavoidable. At that time I realized I would probably be the same--and told my husband Thom and they would likely have to pull those care keys out of my cold dead hand! Of course now I am extremely hopeful that self-driving cars will be available when the time comes so that I can still get out and about if necessary. It is so important for us to have the ability to get out--but I KNOW it shouldn't come at the expense of safety for others! ~Kathy
3 December 2018 at 20:43
Caree Risover said…
I think the difficulty, certainly locally, is that the number of aged drivers is going to rise exponentially. I can imagine our narrow access roads beginning to resemble dodgem car battlefields if they do!
3 December 2018 at 21:43
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