Tested and Traced

 

Following my return home, I hadn't expected to be hounded by NHS Test and Trace. However, since Monday afternoon I have received e-mails, text messages and yesterday a telephone call. They all essentially say the same thing: You have tested positive for Covid and must isolate!

Now it's not exactly likely that somebody recuperating from abdominal surgery with the added complication of an emergency admission to hospital with heart issues, particularly wants to go out and party. I can't deny, however, that a short walk in the cold sunshine or a socially distanced visitor or two might go down a treat. 

However, and with time on my hands (surprise!), I thought I'd best check the actual legislation for what appears to be an outrageous situation bearing in mind that the medical consensus is that I do not have Covid when the swab taken for the contemporaneous PCR test was negative.

The Health Protection (Coronavirus, Restrictions) (Self-Isolation) (England) Regulations 2020 as amended coupled with the guidance really are an absolute travesty of muddled thought. Once contacted by an authorised agent from Test and Trace they require me to remain at home unless I need to attend a medical appointment, see a vet, go to a funeral or, amongst other things, attend court to participate in legal proceedings or answer to bail conditions. I guess if I am desperate to escape I could try robbing one of my neighbour's houses or at least throwing a brick through a window.

Moreover the period of isolation continues unless or until I am asked by the authorised agent to take a PCR test which is then negative. Bearing in mind that I already have one of those (and of course nobody has contacted me to ask that I do another) I have every right to feel particularly aggrieved.  Otherwise, according to the regulations, my release date is 10 days after the date of the two tests (positive lateral flow, negative PCR)  in Accident & Emergency.

Except the NHS Test and Trace website says that "it is now possible to end self-isolation after 5 full days if you have 2 negative LFD tests taken on consecutive days."  It then proceeds to say, as in one of the emails I received, that I cannot take the first LFD test until Day 5 and then must have a second negative test on Day 6 before ending isolation. Of course, and as the date of testing is regarded as Day 0, Day 6 is actually Day 7. Confused?  It's understandable.

Does any of this actually matter anyway? Well apparently breaking out before your time is up can result in a fine of £1,000 for a first offence steadily increasing to £10,000 for fourth and subsequent offences. That could make clandestine shopping trips a little pricey, so please spare me the temptation by not smuggling tools and digging implements to me inside baked cakes.

As I said before, none of the restrictions placed on my liberty are of particular significance in my present circumstances. Further, as self isolation is defined by the regulations essentially as remaining within your own home, it's no more than I would have been doing anyway and indeed we have all been restricted to for an inordinate number of months over the last two years. 

However, it's the guidance that really bites: 1) stay in your room and eat your meals there - whatever am I being punished for? 2) Wear a mask which wasn't even necessary in hospital when I could have been infecting all kinds of random strangers, but is apparently needed to protect Mister E from something he would presumably already have caught. 3) Do not allow visitors into the home except to provide essential care. So I could have strangers in to cook and tend to my post operative care, but Mister E must stay away!

Then, of course, there's the real sting in the tail, that if I was an actual frontline worker taking exactly the same tests as I have, their line manager would expect to be seeing them clock on for duty. Come to think of it, totally humbled by and grateful for the lengths to which they all go, maybe I'll just stay at home and shut up; their work and dedication are completely beyond me.