Tormented

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I don't like to feel totally helpless, but events at the other end of Europe over the past 24 hours have created that torment regardless. Somehow it seems absurd to post a blog entry updating you on my cushioned way of life whilst others are forced to fight for theirs or else leave everything to flee for safety. It is hard to appreciate just how much we take our freedom and comfortable lifestyles for granted and how ineffective we potentially are in protecting the liberties of others. There again and at moments like these it is easy to have our own "What if it were us?" moments or to feel guilt when putting something pleasurable in the diary for next month. Are our lives really going to proceed as normal or is a vile dictator on the verge of spoiling life as we know it for everybody?

So much for the Universal Declaration of Human Rights when at least one of the five permanent members of the UN Security Council can just disregard its contents at will. A 21st century act of self-aggrandisement straight out of the European history book.


The surprising lifting of all Covid restrictions in England and the invasion of Ukraine; retirement seemed simpler only a week ago when my main concerns were Storms Eunice and Franklin. Except, those things that you have no control of rarely pan out as you expect. So last weekend we planned a trip to check on the property in Nottingham the sale of which is taking an eternity to complete. Saturday seemed ideal, offering a brief interlude between the two lows rushing in from the Atlantic. I even thought I could enjoy the stimulation of a change of scenery from the relative comfort of the passenger seat. A sudden and unexpected snowstorm, however, put paid to that journey as we ground to a halt on the motorway and had no choice but to retreat home by means of a detour.

After two long weeks of submersion in brain fog, the clouds have lifted over the past few days and the cog wheels appear once again to be turning as the synapses spring into life. Regardless, I'm still searching for normality. It's those things over which I have no command again; the excessive fatigue and inability to exert myself by lifting or sustained physical effort.

This particular chapter of retirement, at all levels, was neither pre-planned nor expected.



Comments

Jean said…
Our retirement has not turned out as we had planned either. It's been "character forming" as my mum would have said, her go-to phrase for when life throws you lemons.
One thing I have learned is that when there is nothing you can do to help the situation of people far away, do the best you can closer to home. "Charity begins at home" was another of my mum's favourite sayings and she meant it.
So many things that are happening are completely beyond our power to change them so we have a duty to enjoy our lives on earth as best we can, while we can, and just change the things we can. We can't save the world all by ourselves, we elect others to do that for us and put our trust in them. (And see where that got us.)
26 February 2022 at 10:11
Caree Risover said…
Building resilience to help counter future obstacles perhaps but you are right: best to concentrate our efforts where we can make a difference
26 February 2022 at 11:05
Marksgran said…
I cannot begin to imagine how horrific and terrifying it must be for the Ukrainian people at the moment but I can do nothing personally to help the situation except perhaps donate some money to a charity to help them, which I did this morning and if I hear of someone locally collecting clothing etc to help I will donate to that too. The thing is, we can only do what we can do and to feel helpless or depressed about it will only do us harm. My anxiety levels went sky high when I first read about it but I have now reduced how much I'm reading and taking my own advice to only do what I can do. Sorry your trip was cut short by the snow. We've had hardly any snow here this year! Never mind, it will be spring next week!! Take care. x
26 February 2022 at 16:21
Caree Risover said…
Yes, sensible words and actions as always from you, Marksgran
26 February 2022 at 20:13
Bethany @ Happily Loco said…
Okay, this made me realize how sheltered I am, as an American. Not the stuff about Ukraine, because we know about that, but the fact that we have already made it to "F" with storms in the Atlantic! I guess we never hear about storms, unless they are headed for Texas, LOL!

I kind of felt the same way about my blog post, to be honest. The situation in Ukraine breaks my heart. Interestingly enough, it has made people much less divided here in the States, so that is a small positive. But still... :-(
27 February 2022 at 17:48
Treaders said…
I agree with both Jean and Marksgran. I have thought about whether I should be posting my trivia when Ukraine is potentially heading over a precipice, but then I realize there is nothing I can do about that situation either, only do the best I can here. Oh and I'm glad the brain fog is lifting - maybe it was nature's way of making you slow down to recuperate!
27 February 2022 at 17:59
Caree Risover said…
We actually had 3 in one week Bethany, with E & F being preceded by Dudley but that is somewhat rare, even for this time of the year. And yes, I don’t think Putin considered the unifying effect across the globe his actions might have.
27 February 2022 at 18:46
Caree Risover said…
I think I’m finding it hard, Treaders, to reconcile how precious life and liberty are with the almost trivial way I seek to exercise and describe my own. Maybe this will make all of us up our game within our own spheres of influence and activity, however small. As for the brain fog, whatever its purpose, I was getting very scared that one day I might be unable to solve Wordle!
27 February 2022 at 18:55
Jennyff said…
We felt very vulnerable whilst locked down in Italy, unable to get home, having to take residency to stay and absolutely no help or advice from the British embassy or government websites. That is nothing compared to what’s happening to people in the Ukraine but equally made us feel scared, unsafe and realise how quickly life can change. We can take nothing for granted but it doesn’t mean we cannot continue to enjoy, appreciate and share the experiences we have now. I shall continue to blog my little life and rant as much as ever, I hope you will too.
1 March 2022 at 11:34
Caree Risover said…
I think when we are accustomed to easy, peaceful lives it can be hard to comprehend just how fragile that ease and peace actually is. But as you say, Jennyff, we can take nothing for granted.
1 March 2022 at 14:29
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