Self Doubt and Farewell

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Tonight I attended a final committee meeting for a working group I have participated in for the last four years. The sessions are attended by generous natured and helpful individuals full of what can best be described as bonhomie. It is a wrench to say goodbye, knowing that I am unlikely to see many of them again. 

Indeed it is on such occasions that one can't help having a sudden panic: am I actually doing the right thing, knowing that I am genuinely going to miss sessions like those? That said my fellow committee members expressed envy and a willingness to swap positions with me were I to give them the chance. 

Perhaps it is actually a case of "the grass is always greener on the other side," or maybe I really am seizing an opportunity now that fellow colleagues are either unable or too scared to take themselves. Let's just hope it's not a great big conspiracy where they know something that I don't.

There we are, self doubt creeps in on occasions but, with everything now in place for my retirement, all I can do is ignore it.


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